Getting very close!

This morning I had another bleed, by far the worst yet. They wanted to start me on mag and a refused. I wasn't having contractions and just yesterday morning my dr and I spoke about mag and she said we're past the point of it working for neuro protection. I am so glad I did refuse because I am not really having anymore contractions than I usually would have.

But they transferred me to L&D, baby is looking great. I just recieved a dose of rescue steroids (I also got them at 24 weeks) and I can't eat just in case. The md that is on for my dr spoke with one of the perinatologists and they decided that any bleed no matter the size I will have a c-section.

I don't even know what to feel right now. I feel relieved to know there is an end in sight but at the same time so sad that I may only be pregnant for a few more days. I am praying that this little guy is a fighter and doesn't need too much nicu time. I feel terrible my body is failing him and he has to come early and struggle. As upset as I am that this is most likely the last time I will be pregnant I am so thankful I was given another opportunity to become a mother again. Thinking back on our IVF cycle I would've given my left arm for this child so I just have to remember how blessed we really are.

Everyday is less time in the nicu, but it looks like Elijah will be making his debut any day now!

8 weeks in the hospital, 32 weeks pregnant!

I need to stop planning things ahead of time!  We had planned to put up a little Christmas tree and watch some of the Christmas specials.  Well I took a nap from 12-4, woke up to a very small bleed so they threw me on the monitor.

Elijah looked great but I was having contractions that got closer and closer together.  Eventually they were 2-3 minutes apart and pretty painful.  They decided it was best to start the mag again.  I was pretty mad because as I've said before the magnesium sucks but at least I got to stay in my room this time.

I was really hesitant about going on it at first and wanted to try other things but I am actually glad we started more aggressive.  It took hours for the contractions to space out and if we would've waited I could've had to deliver or had a massive bleed.  I think the worst part of it was I hadn't eaten since 8 am (I slept through lunch) and they didn't let me eat until 8 this morning. 

Today I got the new NICU packet for 32-34 weeks, it's technically a day early but thats ok!  It is so incredible the differences from the last packets I recieved.  The first one I got when I was originally admitted was 24-28 weeks, the risks were so high and scary.  The next one I got was for 29-31 weeks, less scary but still not great, a lot of talk of breathing equipment, brain bleeds, and heart issues.  The one I recieved today is amazing!  I says that he may have to go on a cpap or nasal cannula but because I recieved the steroids earlier there is a good chance he will just breath on his own right away!  No real worries about his heart or his brain!  The biggest concern will be feeding at this stage and weight gain.  Well considering how big he is measuring I am at ease with this and we just have to hope that if he come he stays fat and loves to eat :-)  Hopefully only a few more weeks and we can have our lives back, I can't wait to be home with all of my boys!

And that makes 5...

Today has already started out crappy, I had my 5th bleed this morning.  I am really really praying that little Elijah stays in for a few more weeks!!!!  I will be 32 weeks on Sunday and I just hope he can make it another 2 weeks at least.

So while I am feeling sorry for myself I know I have so many things to be thankful for!  I am so very thankful for my amazing husband who is doing so much for us right now, I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.  I am thankful for my awesome son Skyler, he makes everything better I love him more than words can explain.  I am so thankful for my mom and sister who have helped out so much during these past 2 months.  I am thankful that I am pregnant.  This time last year we didn't think we would be able to have another baby and shortly after were told our chances of concieving on our own again were going to be nearly impossible.  I am so thankful for the doctor that helped us get pregnant and that I have a little boy growing inside of me!  I am most thankful for God, for listening to me and answering my prayers.  He has given me 2 little boys and has kept Elijah inside of me.  When we came in at 24 weeks we were so scared, we've come so far and although I don't want him to come just we are in a much better position than we were 8 weeks ago. 

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and has something to be thankful for this year! 

Crappy end to a crappy week

The last few days have been pretty bad.  Yesterday I had really bad contractions, they had to give me a fluid bolus and start IVF.  Then they had to give me an extra dose of my nefedipine which dropped my bp even with the fluids going.

Today I was hoping for a better day which didn't happen.  I think some of my nurses are a bit too comfortable with me at times.  I called twice for my nurse to come in with my med for contractions and by the time she did I was having frequent ones.  Finally they calmed down so I got to eat and shower (it was 5 days since I was allowed to shower last!).  I had a really really bad afternoon broke down for quite some time and ended up falling alseep.  When I woke up I was having more contractions and had to be put on the monitor for a good 2 hours and had to be given another bolus.  Mary stopped by and visited which was nice because of how awful my day was (more than just the contractions).  Oh and my reflux is absolutley killing me even though I am on meds twice a day for it.  I am starting to contract again and will probably have to be put on the monitor if I have one for in the next 10 minutes, so heres to another night of no sleep :-(

I really hope tomorrow is better, I am 31 weeks at least!  Only 3 more weeks until my doctor's goal!

Another Scare

This morning I woke up to another bleed, this is my 4th bleed.  It was a decent amount and they decided to send me over to labor and delivery and start the stupid mag again.  I was hysterical for about an hour after they told me they were moving me, I also yelled at a lab tech drawing my blood which I feel super bad about.  I really hate leaving "my" room and going on the mag.  Luckily it's been about 12 hours and they have decided to move me back!  I am going to stay on the mag though until at least tomorrow morning :-(  I did tell them I need to be back by 8 for Greys though lol.

I am so incredibly frustrated with feeling like I have no control of the situation!  But Elijah looks great at always and thats what is important.  Doctor said again today that her goal is for me to make it to 34 weeks, I really really want to make it further than that.  The nurse I had today said she had her baby at 34 weeks and he got to go home 12 days later which is super encouraging!  I would like no nicu time but 12 days wouldn't be the end of the world.  I just hope I stay super quiet for the next few weeks!

Oh and I am super excited for Shaun this weekend, he has a "man date" haha.  He is going to watch the fights with a good friend.  I am so happy he is able to do something for him because he is doing such an incredible job being a "single" daddy right now.  He has been so great taking care of Skyler and keeping the house nice, and doing his best to visit me just about every day.  I am extremley blessed to have such an amazing husband and father for my children. So thanks mom for watching Skyler once again so he can do this :-)  I don't know what we would do without my mom and sister right now they have been helping us so so so so much, thank you guys so much you have absolutley no idea how much we love and appreciate you guys!

Thanks everyone for your continued thoughts and prayers!

Were going to have a big boy!

Today was my ultrasound I am 30w2d!  Elijah looked great, moving like crazy as always.  He weighed in at a whopping 4lbs5oz!  Technically he is measuring about 2 weeks ahead, but of course the ultrasounds can be off a bit.  We saw him "practicing" breathing which was great!  She asked right away if we had gotten the steroids, so that made me feel better that they obviously have helped.  He was also yawning, it was so cute.

Now the big question was how the placenta looked.  It's still a complete, which means it's still covering the cervix.  It's moved up from where it was originally which is good but at the moment if it stays where it is I will have to delivery at 36 weeks.  If it moves up enough to be considered a partial I can go to 37 or 38 weeks depending on how the next ultrasounds look.  My doctor had said in the past that if I were to have a decent bleed after 34 weeks she would just deliver me so I really hope I can hang on until at least 36 weeks.

Although 36 weeks is only 4 weeks from my due date and 1 week until he is considered "full term", he would still be considered late term preemie.  The main concern with babies that are considered late term preemie is feeding and gaining weight.  He may need to go to the nicu to help him with eating but he also may be able to come home with us right away which is what we will be praying for!

We are so very thankful that he is looking good and that I am still pregnant.  Heres to at least another 5 weeks and 5 days!

Not the news I wanted

I see the other doctors way more than I see her, especially the one doctor I am not too fond of.  But, when I do see her it's always great because she really tells me whats going on and I trust her 100%

After my bleed on Saturday they started me on a drug called nefedipine, it helps to stop contractions which can cause bleeding in a previa patient.  I was really hesitant to take it but it seems to be helping a lot with the contractions!

Today when my doctor stopped in we talked for a while about the "plan" and I must say I am a bit disapointed.  She kept saying how happy she is that I will be 30 weeks this Sunday and how that is a huge milestone (which I know but, she kept saying it as if she didn't expect me to make it this far).  Then I had mentioned how I had joked with Shaun that after Elijah is born that we will still have to stay in the hospital for 4 days before we can go home.  She said that we can stay less but most parents like to stay because the baby has to stay....ummm huh?  She says she is expecting NICU time for him, which breaks my heart.  I don't want to have him early, I don't want to have to leave him here without us. 

I was really hoping for at least 36 weeks but really wanting 38 weeks!  She says that if more bleeding happens that as we get closer to 36 weeks depending on how bad the bleeds are she might want to just deliver me.  I am really really praying that we make it to at least 36 to minimize NICU time and complications, also I've read many stories where the baby is born at 35 weeks and gets to actually go home.  Shaun was born at 34 weeks and that was a loooooong time ago ;-)

We have another u/s next Tuesday morning so we will know more then!  I just ask that everyone keeps praying for me and Elijah and that he stays in as long as he needs to so that we can take our little guy home right away!

Going on 5 weeks

This week has been quite the eventful week unfortunatley.  Since Monday I was having contractions on and off, some prety bad ones too.  Wednesday night I starting having terrible pain so they hooked me up to the monitor and I was having very frequent contractions, they were talking about sending me over to labor and delivery.  They started an IV and gave me 2 boluses of fluid and then did a continuous drip for a while, that seemed to calm things down thank God! 

Since then things were quiet, until this morning.  I had another bleed!  It wasn't awful but it was enough.  They had a million nurses in here, I told Shaun I felt like a patient during a code!  They hooked me up to the monitor, baby Elijah looked great and not too many contractions.  They also started another IV and fluids.  I bled a little on and off today but it has seemed to stop, so lets cross our fingers it does!

Mary, Michael, and Mary's mom came to visit me tonight which was great.  Saturdays are usually lonley days/nights for me.  They brought me chipotle which was soooo good!  I was good also and didn't eat the tortilla to cut back on carbs :-)

I will be 29 weeks tomorrow which is great!  I am really excited to hit 30 weeks though, although I will probably not be content until I hit 36 weeks!