Trick or treat!

I am 28 weeks today, yay for 3rd trimester!!!  Today is trick or treating so Shaun and Skyler are out doing that!  I am sad becasue it's the first time Skyler is doing it, but I am so so happy Shaun was able to take him!  I am so blessed to have a husband that loves our son as much as he does!  He just texted me that he is never missing trick or treat and that our son is amazing :-)

They will be up here later today so I can see him in his awesome spiderman costume that he picked out.  I have some candy Shaun brought me yesterday to throw in his bag, and the staff here also made Skyler a little bag! 

Otherwise I will just be hanging out watching the game waiting for them to get here.  Oh and I have been doing tons more research on cloth diapers!  I am so excited to do that this time around!

A rough few days

Yesterday was a pretty bad day.  I was still in labor and delivery during the day, crying on and off all day.  Shaun wasn't able to be there so I was alone and the nurses are so busy that I had no one to help me.  If you've ever been on mag you know how terrible you feel, plus I was hooked up to a million different things and couldn't get out of bed. 

Mid breakdown for the millionth time that day, one of my favorite nurses from antepartum came in to say hi.  She ended up getting my nurse to call the doctor and getting me tranfered early!  I never thougth I'd be so happy to be back in my old room, but I was and I felt so much better.

I got off of the mag drip this morning which was great and I am back to being monitored 3 times a day instead of continous, in a few days I should be 2 times a day.  No new bleeding but I have been having some contractions here and there, hopefully they don't turn into anything.

Tonight has been hard.  I miss being home, I miss Skyler so so much.  He is having a really hard time with this.  I know he loves my mom but he just wants his mommy and daddy so bad.  I feel like I am missing so much and that he is going to be so different by the time I get out of here.  I am also scared that when we come home with Elijah that Skyler is going to be upset that finally when mom comes home she brings this new person that takes up our time.  I just pray that everything will work out.  I get so mad when I think of everything that I have been through to get pregnant and then everything that I am going through.  But I have to keep telling myself that I am blessed to be pregnant, blessed to continue to stay pregnant, and blessed to be having a healthy baby boy.  It gets hard at times though because it's almost as if I have to mourn all the plans I had for my pregnancy and labor.  Things will get better, this I know. 

Didn't expect this to happen

So I posted about how I was home last night.  It was so incredibly nice to sleep in my own bed with Shaun, I havn't slept that good since I've been in the hospital.  This all might be TMI for some so you can scroll along if you want!  We woke up around 830, Shaun got out of bed right away to let the dogs out.  I got up pretty much right after him because like every morning I had to pee really bad!  When I stood up I thought I peed my pant (people with kids know this isn't crazy during pregnancy lol).  So I just went straight to the bathroom and saw blood.  It was much much more than last time.  I got hyseterical until Shaun came back to the bathroom, I knew I was headed back to the hospital and that I wasn't coming back home until I deliver.

So I called my doctors office, got dressed, and left the house.  We went to labor and delivery where they hooked me up to the monitor.  When I got to the hospital I was still bleeding a bit but not as bad.  Elijah looked good on the monitor but they were concerned about my cramping and contractions I was having.  They started me on the magnesium drip again to stop the contractions which so far is working.  I will stay on the drip until Friday morning and then I will go back to the floor I was on this whole time.  It was nice because one of the nurses I had all the time came to say hi, of course I lost it again when I saw her because just yesterday I was saying bye!  They are saving my old room for me and even brought over my bed I was in because it's much more comfortable than the ones in labor and delivery.  I finally got to eat because they wern't letting me since I got here.

I still am in shock that I am back here so so soon, I feel like I am going to wake up and it is all going to be a bad nightmare.  It was so amazing being back at home and sleeping next to my husband again.  The worst part is that I barley got to see Skyler.  He went to school not too long after I got home yesterday, and then shortly after he got back home Shaun had to take him to my moms because Shaun worked last night.  I feel so so terrible for him, he was so excited that I got to come home.

I have to keep thinking I am lucky that Elijah still looks good and is still inside of me, but it is really emotionally draining to be here. 

Home!!!!

After 3 weeks and 1 day I finally got to go home today!  We had an ultrasound this morning with the perinatologist, he said baby looks amazing aside from being a little on the large side, I say I just make big babies!  The placenta still hasn't moved away from the cervix but everything else looks ok so he said he feels ok if I go home.  He did also say though that if I were to have another bleed that I am in the hospital for good, that definitley is going to keep me being safe at home!

So now that I am at home I am on strict bedrest!  I can use the bathroom and take a shower but thats about it.  Skyler has to go to my moms house when Shaun works though.  So tonight I am home alone which kinda sucks but it is better than the hospital!  I took a shower tonight (with a shower chair lol) and it was amazing!  The water pressure sucked so much at the hospital and the water was never very warm.

The thing I will probably miss most about the hospital besides some of the great nurses is being able to order food.  When I am home alone I have to be able to heat something up very quick so were going to have to work on whats available to me.  I am also going to also miss being hooked up to the monitor twice a day, I did love hearing Elijah's heartbeat! But he moves around plenty!!!

The bedrest is getting to me a bit, my head, neck, back, and ribs are killing me!  I never thought laying around all day would make me so sore. 

Thanks again to everyone for their thoughts and prayers, we really appreciate it!

27 weeks, a HUGE milestone for me, and the story behind it!

Today I am 27 weeks!  When I came in I was 24 weeks and scared to death, in the back of my mind I kept thinking about a friend. 

When I was in beauty school I met someone who was pregnant with her first and was due a few weeks after I was due with Skyler (I was due the end of jan. she was due in feb.).  It obviously was a complete shock when I found out that sometime in November of that year, the girl I knew had her baby girl!

When I was admitted and they started giving me meds to stop contractions I texted her and asked her how far along was she when she had her daughter.  She said 27 weeks :-) That beautiful little girl is going to be 4 next month!  Now I know that 27 weeks isn't ideal, but knowing someone who had their baby that early and everything ended up ok, that made me long for 27 weeks to come!  It's finally here and I am so happy, although 28 weeks is a huge milestone as well as 30,32, and 34!  But I made it to my milestone in my head.  Also according to the march of dimes website, babies born at 27 weeks have a 90 percent chance of survival.  I pray that he stays in for much longer but if not at least we've made it this far!

Tomorrow is a big day as well, not only will I have been here for 3 weeks, but I get another ultrasound!  This ultrasound will determine if I may be able to go home!!!!!!!  My doctor feels that if the ultrasound comes back and the perninatologist gives me the ok, then I will be able to go home.  Once at home I will still be on very strict bedrest just like here, I can only go to the bathroom and shower every other day.  Also Skyler can't be home alone with me so we will continue what we have been doing with my mom.  It's going to still suck but at least it would be home!  I will have doctor appt. at least every other week and then every week depending on ultrasounds.  So at least I will get to go for a car ride :-) So I am praying that the ultrasound looks good and I get to go home and be with my boys, sleep in my own bed, and take a shower in my own bathroom!  The only thing I might miss is being able to call for food because I am not allowed to make my own food, so Shaun will have to make sure I have food ready for me when he is not home.

I will update tomorrow the results of the ultrasound unless it gets pushed back to Tuesday, wish me luck and say a prayer!

Good news, bad news, and a picture!

Havn't posted in a few days!  Good news, today I am 26w3d!!!  I'm super excited to be approaching the 27w mark, I'll post why next week :-)

I had wrote that I had my GD test Sunday which I failed.  I took the 3 hour test on Monday.  The nurse called the resident and the resident said that I had passed.  I felt like it was wierd because the nurse said she wasn't sure if I passed or not.  Well my doctor came to see me today and looks like the resident read the test result wrong and I did fail!  So I officially have gestational diabetes!  Now I have to do blood sugar 4 times a day, in the AM when I first wake up so a fasting one, then a blood sugar 1hr after each meal.  I also have been put on a diet so I have to carb count and a diabetic educator is going to talk to me today.  I feel so confident at work when I teach patients about diabetes but all of a sudden I feel so lost in all of this!  Now my poor fingers are going to be all bruised :-(

Yesterday one of the on call doctors saw me, who I have not been to fond of.  She basically told me that she didn't understand why I havn't gone home yet.  She said, don't you have relatives that can help?  I say, not really it's my husband and my mom.  Then she says, why don't you have your mom move in?  I say she has a 15 year old at home and I don't have a very large house at all.  Then she says well then you can move in with your mom...umm no my mom lives in a decent size apartment but has 3 adults living there and my 15 year old sister.  And honestly if I am not going home home I might as well be in the hospital! 

So that doctor made my a bit upset and I spoke with my doctor today about it.  I asked her what I would have to do exactly to go home.  She basically said the same things again, 24 hour child care but she did say that it would be ok for me to be home for short periods of time by myself, Skyler is not allowed to be home alone with me though.(that makes me feel like I have supervised visits with my son lol).  So were going to consider me going home if we can assure that we keep doing what we are doing as far as childcare.  Things get a bit more complicated now though that I have GD because I have to get that all set it.  She said if I decide that I really want to go home (which obviously I do) that we will do another ultrasound to make sure nothing has gotten worse. 

I think that I am going to revisit this idea at 28 weeks, I will feel more safe the further along I get.  I am nervous at the idea that I could have a large bleed at home when I am alone though.  I get nervous that I wouldn't get to the hospital in time, in which I was told I have to call the ambulance if I am home alone and the bleed is bad.  I also get nervous that I would be in such shock it would take me longer than needed to call.  Ugh I don't know what is best!  I guess I will take it day by day and as we get closer to 28 weeks, we just have to hope that there is no bleeding or contractions and then there will be the possibility of me being able to be at home!  That would be great for the holidays!

Last thing, I crocheted a hat yesterday. I am going to make Skyler and Elijah matching hats out of a blue yarn I have!

26 weeks!

Yet another milestone!  26 weeks today!  So glad Elijah has stayed in this long and everything has been very calm! Thank the lord!  I did take my GD (gestational diabetes) test today and I failed :-( I knew I was going to fail too.  I told Shaun yesterday that I just knew I'd fail it!  So at 430 in the morning I start the 3 hour test.  I have to drink double the amount of that disgusting orange drink!  I always tell everyone it's not that bad because I didn't remember it being that bad with Skyler!  Well sorry everyone I've ever told that to, I lied, it's awful.  I felt sick for a good 3-4 hours afterwards too, so who knows what I will feel like tomorrow.  Just praying that I pass the test!

I got wheel chair privaleges back!!!  So once a day someone can take me down to the cafeteria or just for a walk around the hospital in a wheel chair.  It will be nice to see something else besides my room.

Skyler and Shaun came tonight and we watched the Packer game.  They just left and we are playing really good so hopefully we end up winning!  Sometimes I think it's harder when they come and have to leave just a few hours later than if the didn't come at all. Of course I want to see them everyday I can but I get so down when I know they're leaving, and when they leave I get really sad still because I am stuck here and they get to go home.  I miss my house, my bed, my shower!  The shower here is absolutley terrible, no water pressure at all.  I miss my dogs too :-(

Some parts of me want to talk to my doctor about being able to go home if things still look ok soon, but I know Shaun is really worried about me coming home.  I know I am in the safest place for me and Elijah but it would be so so so nice to be at home on bedrest instead.  I have to keep thinking to myself how hard it would be to just sit on the couch or bed and not do anything with Skyler, not clean, not cook dinner.  I just need to stay safe, Elijah will be here before we know it and we will be able to go home (and I can take a very very long shower :-) )

Well, this was a long post!  I will post tomorrow how the GD test went.  Until then I am going to continue my newst tv show obsession, Revenge!  I'm almost through the 1st season it's sooo good!

TGIF?

It's Friday!!!  That means one more to has to go by before I am another week pregnant!  (I finally got an accurate answer as to when I "change", it's on Sundays).  Skyler and Shaun got here around 1030 and left not too long ago, they are going to come back later tonight and spend the night :-) I've been spoiled this week.  My mom and sister are going to come by soon too! 

I read another moms blog last night about her baby that was just born, she also had placenta previa.  When I was reading it I finally came across her due date...January 20th, that's my due date.  It really made me so so very thankful that God has kept little Elijah inside me for this long even.  We are truly so very blessed, he is really a miracle.  He does a good job at keeping me calm too, he kicks so much which is very reassuring!  Last night he stretched out and I felt him in 3 spots at once.  Then he likes to stick his head out (I know it's his head becasue of the u/s) and there is just a round ball sticking out haha.  I always rub his head and talk to him, hopefully it's true what they say that babies recongnize your voice because I probably look like a crazy lady how much I talk to him.

Shaun is going to go by me a mini Christmas tree for my room!  Don't worry I won't put it up for a while, I just have Kohl's cash and it is on sale so it's a really good deal.

The weekends are going to be the hardest because Shaun works so I don't get to see them a ton, but thats ok because I plan to finish my first blanket and the most exciting, I get my GD testing on Sunday!!!! WOO HOO, just kidding, with everything else that has gone crazy I am pretty sure I will fail this lol. 

I just want to thank everyone who reads my blog and all the messages I have recieved and just well wishes, it means a lot to know people are thinking about us. 

Whelp I had a plan all day today! It was to watch Greys and scandal and 8 comes around and it's not on!!!! Ugh

Shaun and skyler slept over last night and left around 11 this am. It was nice seeing them for so long. They were gonna sleep over tonight but I told Shaun to stay at home. I think skyler needs some time at home just to play. Hopefully I'll see them for a while tomorrow though!

When Shaun left this morning he took the laptop thinking he was coming back :( so now I'm without a computer and I'm writing this on my phone! Thank goodness for iPhones!

Now I'm going to watch the debate and go to bed early :)

Last night was really really rough for me.  I got really upset thinking about how I am not there for Skyler and how I am going to not be home for 3 months of his life!  So I cried hysterically for a while and then Shaun called from work, cried a little more.  Then after work my amazing husband came to spend the night (Skyler was by my moms).  It was so nice to have him here even though we went to bed right away.  I miss them so much and whenever I am alone I have way to much time to think.

Otherwise today I spoke with a lactaction consultant regarding breast feeding preemies and worked with a physical therapist on bedrest excercises.  Christy came and visited again...for 5 hours!  We just kept chatting and time flew by!  Its so nice having someone here to talk to.

They boys are here again tonight, Skyler was sleeping when they got here and stayed asleep.  Shaun and I played rummy and he beat me like always :-)  When I wake up i will be 25w4d!  Thank you Lord!

Feeling Loved

I've been feeling pretty loved, I have had so many friends come and visit!  So thanks everyone who has come and visited me, it's very much appreciated.  It makes time go by much faster!

Last night was great having Skyler and Shaun spend the night.  We ended up sleeping by 10 but I slept so much better just having them here than I have been when they are at home.  Tomorrow night they are going to go to church and then spend the night again :-)

Shaun sent me some pictures today of the valance he put up in Elijah's room, so now the room is officially complete!  He also put the stroller together, took out the car seat and sent pictures of that.  I got a little emotional just because I feel like everything is being taken away from me during this pregnancy.  We went through so much to get pregnant and now this, God is definitley testing us for something big, but I know he will not give us more than we can handle!  I still get jealous of people who get pregnant so easily and have such easy pregnancies.  I know thats wrong and I am truly happy for other people, but there is part of me that will always be a bit jealous.  Good news is that even though we went through all of this so far Elijah is looking super healthy and is still in my belly, and thats what I will continue to focus on!

My crocheting is coming along, I need some practice but I am getting better! 

Medically nothing new has happened, thank God.  Elijah has been kicking like a crazy man, which I love love love!

Now I get to crochet, watch private practice, and eat my turtle custard Niki and Brian brought me! 

1 week and a stage 4 later

It's been one week since I was admitted.  I still can't believe everything that has happened, I am so so thankful to the lord that me and Elijah are safe! 

This morning I got to see my doctor and we decided it is best if I stay here.  It freaked me out because if I were to go home and a blood vessel broke I could lose a lot of blood very very quickly.  The way the doctors make it sound also is that it's not if I bleed again but when and how bad, so although I want to go home so so bad, I know that here is the safest place for us to be right now. 

After I spoke with my doctor I got a suprise ultrasound!  I will see baby Elijah any chance I can!  He is so cute already, looks just like Skyler on the 3d ultrasound.  I still get emotional at every ulrasound :-)

I officially decided on a school today so yay me.  AND I got uprgraded to a stage 4 mattress lol!  So far my butt feels much better, although I do feel like a patient on 4EF :-)

Skyler and Shaun are going to sleep over tonight, which I am so very excited about.  It's going to be nice to have them here all night.  We're going to try to do sleepovers Monday and Wednesday nights.  Now I just get to wait impatiently for my boys to get here!

Sunday!

I am starting to feel like I am not a mom, or at least a bad one.  I know that I am doing what is best for me and Elijah but I miss Skyler and feel so bad.  I feel so bad that my mom always has him, even though I know she loves to have him.  But I am so so grateful I have her and that I have someone I trust to watch my little man.

It's just wierd because we never ever have a sitter unless it's 100% necessary ie work.  We don't ever go out without Skyler, and honestly I would rather be with him than without.  Thats why we don't really do dates and if I am going to do something with a friend ever I plan it so Shaun is home.  I just can't wait unitl I can do things with ALL my boys!

Otherwise today has been good, got my packer jersey on!  Waiting for a few visitors to come by tonight, so that should make the night go by quick.  I will get to talk to my actual doctor in the morning to see what the full plan will be.  According to one of her partners, I might be able to go home but under very strict conditions per my doctors notes, someone has to be home with me 24 hours a day...yeah that sounds realistic :-) So we will see.

My mom is bringing me stuffed shells, and homemade chicken soup mmmmm.  I am also going to start crocheting tonight, yay!

25 weeks!

Today was pretty uneventful, which is a good thing I suppose.  Shaun and Skyler only got to visit for a short amount of time but I am just glad I  have been able to see both of them everyday.  Highlight of my day was that I got to take a wheelchair ride to the cafeteria!!!  So we went down for lunch which was nice to get out of the room for a little bit. 

Shaun worked tonight and I was very bored, got a little down being here so long alone but I know I have to get used to it.  I just wish I was home.  Elijah is still doing great, kicking away!  I cheered myself up with some Kat Williams on netflix lol.  And I decided I am going to start crocheting tomorrow!  My grandma taught me a while ago but I don't completley remember, so hopefully with online tutorials and my memory I will get somewhere. 

Best news is, I am another week pregnant!  I just have to keep remembering what the doctor said, "I'd rather you deliver tomorrow than today, every day counts".  Another week pregnant is great and I hope there are many more weekly celebrations before Elijah makes his debut :-)

10/5/2012

I slept pretty well last night, suprisingly.  This morning Christy came and visisted me which was great!  She brought me some fun stuff including a disney princess coloring book :-)  Shaun and Skyler came and stayed a while tonight but ended up going home around 8 instead of spending the night.  I had a hard time when they left tonight, I just wish I was able to be home with them.  I know that this is for the best thought! 

I talked to the doctor earlier today and they said they will re-evaluate everything on Monday and see how I am doing.  If I am doing well still they may let me go home.  However if I go home I have to have someone there with me 24 hours a day because I can only get up to go to the bathroom and take a shower once a day, nothing else.  She told me I can lay on the couch...not sit, that's not allowed haha only lay down.  So we will see how Monday goes.

I also was an idiot and decided to google some things today.  I then realized that the second condition I most likely have besides placenta previa is pretty serious, although really really good that we caught it.  If I were to start bleeding bad at home though I would have to call an ambulance to make sure I am able to get to the hospital in enough time!

Lastly, I was getting very excited about starting some online classes for my online rn-bsn degree when I found out some garbage news.  They school I planned on attending, Liberty University Online, wants me to take 3 math classes total and will not take my math from my ADN program.  I also have to take a few other classes that I have already taken.  I am back looking into University of Phoenix...even though some say its not a real school lol.  It is in fact a real school and they are not making me take a bunch of BS classes, they are accredited too.  They do require some clinical hours which sucks but I would be done much faster through them than I would through Liberty.  GRRR desicion desicions! 

First blog!

Today I decided to start doing something all the cool people of the world do...Blog!  With everything that we are going through I thought it would be good to document things daily, even if I'm the only one reading it!

So October 1st I was admitted to labor and delivery for a bleed (I have placenta previa) and I was having contractions every 2-5 minutes.  I was put on some meds and given steroid to help little beans lungs mature a bit faster.  I am only 24 w 5d today.

Today was a good day!  Last night at midnight I got taken off of the Magnesium drip (used to stop contractions), no contractions since:-) I also got moved from labor and delivery to antepartum, where I will stay the rest of my pregnancy.

Skyler is having a hard time with visiting me and then having to leave which makes things hard for both of us, but we will adjust.  But today Mary brought him to visit before she took him to school and he was sad but I was glad I got to see him.  Then I got to take a shower and wash my hair!!!!  I was wiped from that so I took a nap, at about 3pm the phone rang, it was Shaun telling me that Skyler had fallen off the jungle gym at school and possibly knocked his front tooth loose!!!  As if I don't feel bad enough being here, then I couldn't even do anything when that happened.  Well turns out it isn't as bad as everyone thought but he still has a dentist appointment in the am.  Always keeping me on my toes! 

Sam came by and visited me, brought me lots of goodies, thanks Sam!  Then Shaun came and sat with me a while, we played rummy and he won as always :-( It's so nice being able to see Shaun and Skyler every day though! 

Now while I am in antepartum I will be moniored 3 times a day for contractions and Elijah's heartbeat which makes me happy I get to hear him!  Also got my flu shot today...yuck.  Everything is going well, learning to adjust and just taking things day by day.  Thanking God that we are all healthy and praying to keep Elijah in as long and possible!