Didn't get to see my baby today :-(

Today was super hard, I have been thinking I was going to get sick for a few days because Skyler is and today I woke up feeling pretty crappy.  I decided to stay home to rest and to not risk getting Elijah sick.  It has been really hard not seeing him today but Shaun went up and held him for about an hour and a half which helped make me feel better.

Elijah is still off of the oxygen and has been doing so well that they took him off of the pulse ox as well, so now he is just on the heart rate monitor and the apnea monitor.  They also started to bottle feed today, this morning he took 5 ccs and this afternoon he took 20 cc's.  He gets 45 through his feeding tube so they give him whatever he doesn't take through there.  He continues to gain weight which is great and has been maintaining his temp.  The dr. told me on the phone today that he had 2 alarms last night but the nurse called me and told me that they were not anything to worry about and that he brought himself back up right away.  They will be taking him off of the caffeine on Sunday which really scared me but hopefully he does fine!  We are taking an infant CPR class next week which will also go over the monitor if he has to go home on it.  The doctor told me that it is possible if he does really well with feedings that he could be home by Christmas but to not get our hopes up.  I am mentally preparing myself for him to not be home but it will still be extremley hard if he isn't.

We finished decorating the Christmas tree tonight which was supposed to be fun, but I was also supposed to be big and pregnant decorating getting ready for Christmas.  I was pulling out the ornaments and grabbed Skylers "baby's first Christmas" ornament and kinda lost it.  It just wasn't supposed to be like this and now that he is here and may not be home for Christmas is so sad.  Like I always say though I try to remember that he could've came earlier or have been much sicker so we are so blessed that he is doing so well and it is just a matter of time before he comes home. Please continue to pray that Elijah's breathing continues to do well, he doesn't have alarms, he catches onto eating, and he stays infection free!!!